A Halloween Tragedy
Mr. Hard head Pumpkin Candy Jar died on Spooky Halloween night in Reston, VA at 6:02pm while his owner was attempting to relieve him of some of his belongings. His head was so hard, that the owner could not open him, and he fell to the floor. Mr. Hard head Pumpkin Candy Jar is survived by one box of DOTS, two mini Baby Ruth candy bars, and six mini Nestle Crunch candy bars. A memorial service will not be held; however, respects may be paid via email or in person in Reston, VA.
posted by Kristin @ 6:15 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss...if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on, you know I'm always here for you...even with a zillion states between us!
(Even though I really have no idea what you're talking about!! ;-) Silly girl...)
so sad...tear.
i hope you are going through the grief process ok. if not i can use my new counseling skills with you.;)
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds a little odd? "his owner was attempting to relieve him of some of his belongings"
First off, last time I checked, slavery is illegal in the United States. Secondly it sounds like a fancy way to say you were STEALING from poor Mr. Hard head Pumpkin Candy Jar, they were after all by your own admission "HIS BELONGINGS"
Furthermore, "His head was so hard, that the owner could not open him, and he fell to the floor" is a likely story indeed!
I contend that once Mr Hard head Pumpkin Candy Jar realized he was being "relieved" of his belongings, he decided to put up a fight, and in the violent flurry that followed was pushed to the ground with such VIOLENCE that he was shattered into small pieces.
Mr. Hard head Pumpkin Candy Jar was MURDERED in cold candy, simply because he had a few meager posessions that someone else wanted! I will not sit idly by and watch as yet another life is shattered by greed. I will persecute to the full extent of the law!! You are going down!!!
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